How to Start Off Right With and Talk to Your Child’s New Teacher

The new school year brings so much excitement and lots of change.  One of the biggest changes is your child’s new teacher. Teachers are some of the most important people in your child’s life. Parents often feel nervous about their children beginning with a new teacher.  In the fall, you remember the comfort you felt in the spring with the previous year’s teacher.  You knew how long it would take for her to respond to your emails and you knew how much homework to expect.  It is hard to recall the previous September when that teacher was new, too.  As your child heads to school each day in September, so many questions about the new teacher arise:

• Will she really get to know my child for who she is?
• Will she take care of my child with a warm and caring nature?
• Will she understand my concerns as a parent?
• Will she communicate effectively with me so that I feel my concerns are being taken seriously?
• Will she give a lot of homework?
• Will she be fair?
• Will my child like her?
• Will my child be happy in her class?

Just to name a few.

We are here to help you. As parents and teachers, we understand the situation from both vantage points.  There are important steps you can take to foster a positive start with your child’s teacher.  Of course, every situation is unique, but there are a few simple guidelines to follow to help you communicate effectively and feel that your concerns are understood.

1) Give it time.  As parents, we get so anxious at the start of school and we want our children to be adjusted quickly. But it doesn’t always happen so fast.  Being patient with the teacher and your child is important to allow the transition time to take place.  Before you know it, the first month of school will pass and you will find yourselves in a comfortable rhythm.

2) Listen to what the teacher has to say and give her a chance.  It’s hard not to have your whole world revolve around your child and his/her needs, but if you can remember that it’s a new school year and a new class for the teacher too, maybe you can offer some understanding to her.   Go to “Back To School Night, Orientation or Curriculum Night.”  Whichever events the school offers is your chance to go and listen to the teacher and hear what she’s all about.  A word of caution and advice: DO NOT USE THESE COMMUNITY EVENTS TO TRY AND TALK INDIVIDUALLY TO THE TEACHER ABOUT YOUR CHILD.  We know it is tempting…you have all of these burning questions and you want to ask about how your child seems in class but resist the urge.  It is not appropriate and will only set of alarms in the teacher’s head about your being an anxious parent.  Even if you are nervous, you don’t want the teacher to know it, at least not yet.

3) If you have a specific concern or question for the teacher, send her an email and ask to set up a few minutes for a phone appointment.  It is not appropriate to voice all of these concerns in an email and you don’t want to show up or call unannounced.  Give her a clue about the topic in the email so that when she prepares for the phone call she knows what you’re worried about.  Don’t keep her on the phone for more than 10 minutes.  Ask your question gently and give her some time to think about it and respond.

4) Don’t compare her to previous teachers and don’t discuss previous teachers with her.  Keep it positive and in the present.  Also, don’t believe everything you’ve heard about this particular teacher.  Sometimes teachers get a reputation for being a certain way…too strict, mean, too much homework, not tough enough etc.  Please remember that every child and parent has a different experience with each teacher.  Do don’t believe the hype.

5) Listen to your child.  Ask specific questions about the day, particular subjects, books, lunch, friends, and of course the teacher.

6) Authentically compliment the teacher, whenever possible.  Teachers work extremely hard.  If something is going well, let her know.  Help make everyone feel good about school.

In sum, take a deep breath and relax.  You will get through this transition and so will your child.  You may grow to love the teacher or you may not, but the parent – teacher partnership is one of the most important relationships you will have to support your child in development and in school.

Wishing everyone a wonderful school year and gratifying parent – teacher partnerships.

Matthew Mandelbaum and Jamie Cohen are parents and learning specialists and are the creators of Jumping Joey’s Number Line. Jumping Joey’s Number Line is an innovative, child-centered, multi-sensory arithmetic learning system for Pre-K through Elementary. Jumping Joey’s Number Line fosters enjoyable, engaging, effective and efficient mathematical experiences, where students are motivated and build a strong math foundation with long-term understanding. Students feel successful and excited about learning opportunities, and confident in their emerging abilities.