In school, September often is the honeymoon stage for learning.  It is a time for review of past material from the previous year and while students may need help remembering, their prior knowledge usually brings initial success.  As the school year progresses, learning strengths and struggles become apparent and these must be addressed to improve academic success.

One of the key aspects that relate to academic success is being able to successfully ask for help. Seeking help contrasts with avoiding help, which is not known to contribute to academic achievement.  Does your child know how to ask for help at school to get the education she needs?

Here are some helpful tips for teaching children how to ask for help in mathematics and beyond.

1) Create a feeling of trust where your child understands that relating to others is a part of the learning process.  Teach your child that we live in a world where sharing information and learning strategies promotes good thinking for all.  When students know how to be cooperative and self-assess their understanding, they become more reflective of their learning process, which promotes academic achievement.

2) Let her know that it is ok to make mistakes.  Is your child in school to gain knowledge or show knowledge? You hope she wants to gain knowledge every day instead of showing it.  Work towards this relationship.  Gaining knowledge happens through experience. Experience involves making mistakes and learning from them.  This process is one of the pleasures of learning.  If your child always worries about being a superstar and showing off, she could give up too easily when school becomes more challenging.  She may avoid help and fear she’s not capable.  A positive approach to mistakes makes learning easier and school that much more fun.

3) Teach her how to get the resources she needs by advocating for herself.  In school, like other systems, resources are scarce.  Students do not get the same amount of attention or energy given to them.  Teach your child to ask for help so that learning is customized for her individually, so that she forges deep relationships with her teachers, and can make a lasting contribution to her own learning.  Teachers love when students ask for help!  They become more eager to help when they see the child initiating the first step.

4) Give your child tools to solve problems on her own, instead of solving them for her.  Students need to be able to figure out how to do work on their own and can do this when they feel in control.  Give her strategies for doing homework with learning products that make her feel self-reliant.  The best-case scenario is when the child comes home, tells the parent she has to do homework, sits at the table alone, and completes it with pride.  This can only happen when the child learns how to ask for help in school and the school and parents work to foster independence.

5) Help your child to develop perseverance.  When your child fails, what happens?  Do you teach her to try again?  Do you comfort your child?  Do you teach her to reflect on the experience and forge ahead?  Do you praise her efforts? You should do all of these things.  Perseverance is the key to developing expertise in learning.

By creating a sense of safety, where your children can make mistakes, advocate for herself, be self-reliant, and persevere, you are allowing her to reach her pinnacle for academic performance.  Students need help mastering material in a manner that puts them in control.  Teachers and parents can help foster this development by teaching them how to ask for help.

Matthew Mandelbaum and Jamie Cohen are parents and learning specialists and are the creators of Jumping Joey’s Number Line. Jumping Joey’s Number Line is an innovative, child-centered, multi-sensory arithmetic learning system for Pre-K through Elementary. Jumping Joey’s Number Line fosters enjoyable, engaging, effective and efficient mathematical experiences, where students are motivated and build a strong math foundation with long-term understanding. Students feel successful and excited about learning opportunities, and confident in their emerging abilities.