Is your child different at school and at home?

It a common phenomenon, the child you know at home may not behave in the same manner during school. When you hear about your child from teachers, you might think, “I am surprised; that’s not my child.” Don’t worry; it’s normal.

Children are often different at home and at school. School represents a whole new set of challenges and expectations for your child that he might not experience at home. There are new structures and rules in place and children do not have the same degree of familiarity that may be in the home.

Two goals of school are socialization and acculturation. This process takes place throughout the school year, as the child learns to be both an individual and a cooperative group member. Without the familiar comforts of home, your child might be trying out ways to behave in the process of forming his identity.

The best practice for dealing with the difference between home and school is to comprehend it. Here are some tips:

1. Seek to understand the behaviors and the motives behind them.

2. Learn to develop empathy for your child, as he negotiates his world.

3. Listen to your child’s teachers so you can get a full picture of what is going on. They have a great perspective on the activity in the classroom.

4. Try to make analogies between home and school behavior to look for parallels.

5. Talk to your child about the differences between school and home; see if he has insight.

6. Form a partnership with your child’s teachers and discuss the relationship with your child so he knows that everyone is on the same page.

7. Be aware that if the behaviors at school are not the best student behaviors, your child, his teachers, and you can create a plan to make modifications. (See how to advocate for your child.)

8. On the other hand, if your child’s behavior at school supercedes what is happening at home, work with teachers and your child to celebrate the developments at school and make changes at home to continue progress being made. (For example, see how to ask for help.)

Being open to the multi-faceted nature of your child’s personality allows you to enjoy discovering your child’s development and promotes a better academic experience at home and at school.

Matthew Mandelbaum and Jamie Cohen are parents and learning specialists and are the creators of Jumping Joey’s Number Line. Jumping Joey’s Number Line is an innovative, child-centered, multi-sensory arithmetic learning system for Pre-K through Elementary. Jumping Joey’s Number Line fosters enjoyable, engaging, effective and efficient mathematical experiences, where students are motivated and build a strong math foundation with long-term understanding. Students feel successful and excited about learning opportunities, and confident in their emerging abilities.